I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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