All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
