we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
