Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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