if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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