Yo dont text me then not text me
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
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Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
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I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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