Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i need an iv and a liver transplant
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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