im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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