Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
This is my gift to your gina
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
