Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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