im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
