is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
