I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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