a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
