My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
