Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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