smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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