he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
