Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
