I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
whose ass print is on the piano?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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