Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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