she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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