I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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