That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize