Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
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