I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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