party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Fuck appropriateness.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
