Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
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He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize