i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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