Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
