Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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