Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
