if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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