I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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