I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize