i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
