i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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