I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
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If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
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But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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