im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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