What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
