She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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