I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just forgot I was standing up.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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