can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
