hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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