Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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