Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry doseshitbang hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(305): View more from Florida

I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B

Fav 35 1400 3728
share tweet
(516): View more from New York

everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.

Fav 85 4585 1557
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.

Fav 34 6859 949
share tweet
(402): View more from Nebraska

when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"

Fav 15 4900 4359
share tweet
(785): View more from Kansas

Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?

Fav 2 2885 952
share tweet
(765): View more from Indiana

A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.

Fav 12 1078 2823
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(770): View more from Georgia

good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.

Fav 4 3047 1088
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.

Fav 4 559 314
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(480): View more from Arizona

My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar

Fav 0 77 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT