my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize