she was so not down for the gang bang
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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