Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
