it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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