i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
