I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
