just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
We are all done wearing pants today
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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