its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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