get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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