I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
