So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
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Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
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I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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